How Many Children For Me?

The number of children couples have today, that is if they choose to have children at all, is on the decline. Most couples choose to either have one or two children and stop at that. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ though, we have a better understanding of the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It isn’t just about having children and having a family unit here in this life. It’s about allowing the Father’s other spirit children to gain the same opportunity that you and I have by gaining a body and living a mortal life.

So how does a couple decide how many children to have? Honestly, I am probably the worst person to ask that question to. Steven and I have gone from wanting four to being ok with just Declan to back up to two. There have been many prayers and discussion to get us to that current point and it could still change. I’m sure that we aren’t the only parents who struggle and choose just to downgrade how many they want to one after the first comes. In the world this is a very common choice, but sometimes in the Latter-day Saint community you can feel looked down on for that situation.

I am not here to tell anyone how many children to have. I still don’t even know how many children we’re going to have! What I can say is that the who decision is a very, very private decision between you, your spouse, and the Lord. It is something that needs to be prayerfully considered and studied out. It’s not something that you can make a snap decision about. While I wish it was that easy, it’s not. So don’t let anyone judge you when you’ve come to your decision as a couple because you know that you both have chosen to follow the Lord’s plan and not the world’s plan.

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Hill, E. J., Carroll, S. J., & Fellows, K. J. (2016). Modern fertility patterns and god’s commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. In A. J. Hawkins, D. C. Dollahite, & T. W. Draper (Eds.), Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 151-161). Provo: Brigham Young University.

Photo Credit: McKay Paxman Strong