Equalizing the Mental Load
- Mae Pulsipher
- Aug 19, 2018
- 2 min read
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (1995) The thing is though, sometimes no matter how hard we try, as women the relationship just doesn’t feel equal. It isn’t because our spouse doesn’t help around the house because he does…once we tell him what needs to be done.
This is what one comic artist, Emma, illustrated in her comic You Should’ve Asked. She calls it the mental load. That’s the load that women take on because they are the home managers. They know who has appointments and when, when groceries need to be picked up, and which child has grown through his shoes. Husbands on the other hand rely on their wives to let them know what needs to be done.
Now all-in-all this isn’t a bad thing. Women’s brains are just designed differently and are able to multitask more than their male counterparts. But when talking about being equal partners sometimes that mental load can tip the scales. So how can we make these partnerships more equal as the Lord has commanded?
Talk to one another! Although you might not make a physical list of who does what, communicating the stresses you’re going through to your spouse can help them realize what you need. When you both are hyper-aware of the stresses the other one feels it helps ease that mental load. It might not ever go away because we are just built differently, but it will help even the scales and take that weight of the world off of your shoulders.
References:
Hudson, V. M. & Miller, R. B. (2016). Equal partnership between men and women in families. In A. J. Hawkins, D. C. Dollahite, & T. W. Draper (Eds.), Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives (pp. 38-45). Provo: Brigham Young University.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995). The family: A proclamation to the world. Salt Lake City: Author.
Emma. (2017, May 20). You should’ve asked [web comic]. Retrieved from https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
Comments